Haven’t Monty Python retired? the latest sketch from Urbis offers quite a dry humor so perhaps this is inspired more by the work of Ricky G? regardless, please enjoy.
89 Herdsman Parade, Wembley – 24 2 storey townhouses, 50 car parking spaces in a development targeted at young families with an average 150sqm footprint, with a hopscotch, basketball and cricket area, perhaps a partridge in a pear tree, oh and no footpath.
No footpath ? don’t you have to have a footpath?
“It is far more important to be contextually driven and respond to the actual built form rather than slavish compliance with the deemed-to-comply pathway under the R-Codes”
Oh silly me, silly S&M&R-Codes, to be brutally hoest the cynic in me suspects the context here might be more about how many ‘houses’ can be shoehorned into a single block, regardless.
For some reason they include Family Planning advice.
“This nil setback is also setting up a relationship with any future build form where it can choose to abut it, or setback and take advantage of the privacy” (sic)
For ‘nil setback’ lets just read non conforming and move on we are wasting time – the real fun starts in ‘Vehicular Access’ . Despite providing each house a 2 car garage, and 6 visitor parking bays for the development as a whole…
“The Development has been concerned around the idea of community and shared spaces where private vehicles are the lowest priority” (sic)
I would be concerned as well .. yeah, boo to cars, down with that sort of thing, I mean who uses cars anyway…. actually the proposal includes charging points for electric cars*, you know the silent ones, silent cars, hopscotch, children … who needs footpaths…
“Whilst there is room to provide a 5.5m road carriageway with a 1.2 meter pedestrian path, the intent it to create a place that takes on the qualities of a garden” (sic)
…well they have already proposed a cricket , basketball and hopscotch play areas, for children, yes for children – IN THE ROAD – so yeah, why not a garden let’s chuck in nonna’s tomatoes as well ? stuff it i’m all in , lets stitch those cars up a bit more….
“The Yield points and angular road geometry will ensure that the cars are forced to crawl through the area, and at times completely stop.”
no really, lets stop this bourgeoisie car usage nonsense before someone runs over nonnas …
The paving has been designed to slow traffic by reducing the traditional mindset that ‘the road is for cars and the footpath is for people’, the plans blur those lines”
…they sure do, I thought they said roads were for gardens ? & reducing mindsets probably requires an operation of some sort.. anyway, I finally now understand why Mom and Dad used to tell me to go and play on the road, it is not that they did not love me but quite clearly were simply years ahead of their time in town-planning-speek.
…
Do not fret, we will not stray too far from the usual nonsense there are plenty of the usual content-free-statements, this one I assume COVID inspired:
“Social interaction at safe distances can easily be facilitated as a result of the community focus of the development”
There is more, lots more of the above, and I am uncertain from reading the applicants justifications what exactly is deemed to comply in this application and what is not, Urbis claim to have far more than 45% open space but that as far as I can tell would require the driveway/hopscotch-of-death/garden to be included, which if it was a garden it could be, if it’s a driveway could not, & hopscotch is surreally not mentioned in the R-Codes at all ~ I can feel a letter to the Minister coming on about that.
There is not in my opinion enough information supplied in the clients justification for those potentially affected to make educated submissions in regard to wall heights, lot boundary setbacks and open space calculations although ‘alternate design solutions’ abound , are these just alternative facts ? we suspect so in which case the City should provide more information on its ‘have you say page’ lest they again be subject to claims of low quality not-fit-for-purpose consultation.
You have until 14th August to ‘have your say’ on the City of Stirling Website
https://www.stirling.wa.gov.au/your-city/your-say-stirling/89-herdsman-parade,-wembley-development-assessment
………………………..
* Sort of, perhaps, the proposal is transparently unclear….
“Provision of solar panels on each development and provision for future battery to set up an estate wide micro grid, as well as charging points for elective vehicles.”
…so `does` include, or are we still in the `provision` to include stage? , we assume there exists the provision to include snooker tables as well… actually no, not enough space, but if it did it might! , perhaps in the road next to the basketball court?
